How to Connect More Deeply With Yourself | Ep 041

Do you ever feel like the chaos of life has caused you to lose touch with who you truly are? Well, this episode is a journey of rediscovery. Helping you to understand the significance of spending time for self-reflection and the profound impact it can have on our wellbeing. 

We'll navigate through some tough questions about purpose, legacy, and living an authentic life. You'll get to hear about my specific moments of pause, the power of mindfulness and how self-reflection can be transformative. This will lead you to question the legacy you want to leave behind and reflect on how you can enhance your life a little more every day. 

Our discussion takes a deeper turn towards inner growth and self-care, underlining how understanding our triggers and our core self can make us unstoppable and enhance our ability to connect with others. The episode concludes on a powerful note embracing self-care and personal growth, encouraging listeners to face their fears, answer their tough questions, and shine their light brighter for the world to see. Remember, you are loved, valued, and appreciated. It's time to elevate ourselves and let our inner light shine.

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lionheartcoachingco.com

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Transcript

Deepening Connection to Authentic Self

Mandie Woodard 0:00

A spiritual path isn't about yoga and breathing. It's about the journey into self. What is the truth within you? Welcome to Courageous Conversations with Lionheart Coaching Co. I'm your host, Mandie Woodard, and my goal with this podcast is to empower you to own your story and to live courageously in your relationships, with your goals and any adventures you might go on, and especially in your healing and self-discovery journey. I want to show you what's possible through what I teach in share and through the stories of others. All right, my friend, let's get started. Hi there, welcome back to the podcast, or for the first time.

Mandie Woodard 1:01

If you're just now joining me, it is October 10th 2023, at the time that I am uploading this, we are on episode 41. And I don't know if there's a purpose in me sharing that at the start of every one, but maybe, maybe, you kind of want to know what order you're in. I will say the one thing that I know is it's not relevant to time. It doesn't matter when you listen to this, it doesn't matter how long ago I recorded it. The things that I talk about are things that you could hear at any point and even re-listen to. I feel like I could really stand to go back through my season one topics and retouch on them, even because so often we need to hear things over and over and over again in order for it to stick, or even to hear it a different way, because you might have heard a phrase or a metaphor or something that the intention is to teach you or show you a perspective, but it's not until you hear it at just the right time, just the right moment in your life that it clicks. So anyways, nonetheless, we're on episode 41 and I think that's pretty cool. I love that. I've been able to show up and share my knowledge, or even my story, the stories of others, that many times, and I am really, really incredibly grateful that you pressed play and you're even here wanting to listen.

Mandie Woodard 2:38

Before I jump into my topic today, I want a real quick share for my local peeps. I am hosting a Reiki Circle, a full moon Reiki Circle, this month, on October 29th it's a Sunday at 6 pm. If you are interested, please, please, shoot me an email at hello at lionheartcoachingcodecom, and I will get you the link so you can reserve your seat. But space is super limited, so if I've already got some seats snatched up. So if you want to come, make sure you get on that I will say.

Mandie Woodard 3:11

It is a really good time. It's relaxing. It's this opportunity to connect with yourself and others who are probably feeling the same way you're feeling about things. I love how, every time I host a Reiki Circle, the exact right people are the ones that are there and there's this connection that can be made. That is so beautiful. It's you get to share this intimate moment with people that you might not have ever met before and it allows you to connect deeper within yourself and with others, and I just feel like that is such a huge part of this life journey that we're on is being able to do that. That thing I would love to have you. I have hot tea and charcuterie and a cozy setup for you so you can come and be nourished and all the things Reiki, meditation, journaling. It's a good time.

Mandie Woodard 4:10

So, all right, let's talk. Let me just go ahead and dive into today's conversation. I find that this is coming up a lot lately for me personally and even my clients. We've had this conversation in the office. I've had this conversation in the office all over and over recently. I want to talk about deepening your connection to yourself and becoming attuned to your authentic self, because it's when we do that we can then become attuned to others. It's such a journey to get to that space, to deepen your connection with yourself, and you might not really understand what I mean Maybe you do when I say this, but it's like. Let me paint you this picture we wake up, get the kids up or get the dogs taken care of, cat whatever you got going on in your home, make the coffee log into work, get everybody out the door, get lunches made all of those little day to day tasks that we have Jump into work, pick up our phone, scroll a little bit, put our phone down, keep working, finish work, take care of children, take care of spouse, take care of all these things. Make dinner, do the nighttime routine, watch a little TV, go to bed, and nowhere in that day that I just described is there an ability for you to connect with yourself, and that's problematic.

Mandie Woodard 5:56

I truly believe that we need to make time every day to connect with ourselves, to check in, and I say that and I also want to be very transparent. I don't get to every day either. I don't get to check in every day. Sometimes I get way too busy and I forget and I've been in that space especially over the last few weeks, because I allowed myself to fill up my schedule, not just on the days that I was in the office, but the days I was out of the office with things that I really needed to do. And it caught me off guard just this past weekend where it was like, dude, you're gonna hit a wall, I'm not burnout, I'm not and I think I may have even said this recently because I've been doing it a good bit here lately, overbooking myself. But I noticed that I'm doing it and then I take a step back and I pause. So this past weekend, that is what I did. More than anything, I took a pause. I actually told my husband Saturday if I don't take a pause soon, it's, I'm gonna crash and burn. It's not gonna be good. I'm not gonna be able to support my clients the way I need to be there for them. I'm not gonna be able to support my family the way I need to be there for them and I sure as hell I'm not supporting myself in that space.

Mandie Woodard 7:23

So I will say, on Thursday last week in the morning I'm I laid up and meditated for about an hour and 45 minutes. It was almost two hours by the time I got up and it was so necessary. I don't even remember I didn't journal when I got up or anything, so it was not even for the purpose of like having this insight or intuitive download or anything, it was just to lay there and be still, and it's it's vital that we do that. So then on Sunday, thank goodness, I had the ability to just hang out in my bed all day. I watched the morning show. I love that show. By the way, I don't watch reality TV. I don't watch a lot of series, but I do like several on Apple TV, so I allowed myself to binge watch and catch up on that season, because I hadn't done that. We need to be able to be mindless and do things that don't require anything of us. This is how I gave myself the opportunity to rest and go inward through those two days of really making those things a priority.

Mandie Woodard 8:41

So the question came up for me when I was reading yesterday, because I did a little bit of that too what are you dedicated to? What do you find you focus on the most every day? So I asked my best myself that question. I thought, man, that would be a great question to ask my podcast peeps what are you dedicated to? What are you dedicating your life to? And I thought what? What is the answer for me? What's, what's the legacy that you want to leave? And I don't know that I've ever really thought that deep about that question before.

Mandie Woodard 9:24

I always think about my kids and hoping to turn the tides with them. I never wanted them to have the traumas that I had, or I wanted them to be able to communicate and and have healthy communication tools. I wanted them to be able to feel their feelings and feel safe to express them. That's really like dedicating myself in motherhood. That is my dedication. And in my marriage, same thing. There's such a dedication to going through struggle and having that transformation and growing. And then in my work, I really haven't, definitely, I've definitely not thought about this.

Mandie Woodard 10:07

So I I'm thinking right now out loud with you and the hope is that I will help people achieve breakthroughs. I want to help people achieve breakthroughs so that they can see that they deserve to live a life of happiness. And I hate that word deserve, because when you say deserve, it's almost like you had to earn it. But you don't have to earn that. You don't have to earn a joyful life, you don't have to earn love, you don't have to earn rest, and I I hope that through these breakthroughs, my clients see that, that they just get to have those things. I'm gonna keep thinking and pondering on this because I think it's a really important, powerful question and I think it would be great for you to do the same.

Self-Reflection and Inner Growth Importance

Mandie Woodard 11:02

So I'm here teaching on the regular how to navigate your life journey, and I have made such a commitment to being a better person every day, and yet I still mess that up some days. I raise my voice at my kids, I say something rude to my husband, I fail to see different perspectives. I'll get stuck in my own little viewpoint, but I make such an effort to pull myself out of that, to try and shift that, and if you're here listening, I could, I could probably bet that you could say the same for yourself. That that's your goal too is to be just a little bit better every day. And even on the days that you make the mistake and you raise your voice and you say what you shouldn't say, that you still go back and clean it up. That's what. That's what my purpose is with the podcast. I guess that's a huge part of my goal, and my purpose with the podcast that's my, my dedication here is to help you see things just a little bit differently, so that you can go out and live your best life, but there is a huge amount of importance that goes into figuring our stuff out, like figuring out why we have the beliefs that we have, why we respond to triggers, the way we respond to triggers.

Mandie Woodard 12:20

There's so much that goes into that, and it's such an entanglement that happens, I mean, if you really sit and dissect a moment in time where you became triggered and when I say triggered, I mean, like you, somebody did something, or something happened and you got elevated either your heart rate went up, your chest might have got tight, maybe you got nauseous, maybe you started to taking shorter breaths. You feel that physical reaction within your body, and then you have an extreme emotional response to that thing, whether it's anger or sadness. That trigger. That thing that happened is directly tied to something else that has happened in your life, and sometimes it's a person, sometimes it's an event. The only thing that really matters, though, is that you follow that chord to the root, so that you can see where it started so that you can heal it.

Mandie Woodard 13:27

It takes a lot of work, it takes so much effort, but every time you do that, that is when you are deepening your connection to yourself, that is when you are becoming attuned to yourself. So what's attuned mean To understand or to recognize something. Every time you do that, every time you do that for yourself, you heal a new layer. And the more you can become attuned with yourself, the more you can in your relationships too, the more you can be present in a moment with your spouse and see really what's the energy, what's the need there, what's happening, and even with your children becoming attuned to their needs.

Mandie Woodard 14:20

But you can't do that if you're not doing it for yourself first. And at this point where the world stands, this is a must. It is a must to go inward and connect deeper with yourself. And people might take that as that selfish. I heard something recently. It's not selfish, it's being a self-ist. And honestly, we've all heard you cannot put on someone else's oxygen mask without first putting on your own. You have to take care of you first so you can take care of others.

Mandie Woodard 14:55

I find that to be very true in my own life. I can sustain taking care of others and not myself for a good bit. But if I don't, if I don't spriegel in long meditative days or veg out days in my calendar, then I can't sustain that. It's a priority, it's vital. So what kind of light can you be if you're burnt out? If your light is burnt out, what good are you to the people around you and even yourself?

Mandie Woodard 15:29

I love Caroline, miss, she said this quote it takes very little light to make a difference. And I say it a lot and I think I even put it on my website, but it's true Feed your light so that you can go out into this world and make a difference. Because when we do, when we figure out why certain things or people trigger us and we understand who we are at our core, we stop giving our power over and with that we become unstoppable. If you don't know who you are, then anything and everything in this world has so much control over you. You are like this leaf just floating in the wind, not sure where to land. But when you plant your feet, when you really plant your feet in the ground and you say this is who I am, this is what I stand for, then nobody can take power from you and we must go inward so that the outward can get better.

Mandie Woodard 16:26

I think my goal today is to help guide you deeper within yourself. So this, I feel like this might actually be a real life coaching lesson here within this episode, and I have questions for you, because this is that introspection, because to be introspective and examine your thoughts and feelings. This is where you can grow. So if you would like to answer these questions, I'm gonna tell you. You can pause right now and go grab a piece of paper or journal and come back, or you can make note of this and come back to it later, whatever works. But I want to ask these. I want to help you go deeper within yourself. Today. Here we go.

Mandie Woodard 17:08

Tell the truth. Where in your life are you not being honest, with yourself or with others? Are you honest with your spouse or your partner? Are you honest about the life you've set up and are living? Tell yourself the truth about how you feel. So often we will sweep things under the rug. We will pretend like we're not bothered. When we are, we won't set the boundary because we're afraid we're gonna offend somebody or we're gonna hurt their feelings if we tell them hey, you're doing this thing and it really hurts me and that is scary. I know firsthand how scary that is to set that kind of boundary in place, and sometimes we do and it doesn't go the way we hope it does. But you have to trust that, if you're honest with yourself, if you're in integrity with what's correct for you and your life, that it's still the right thing. You're still doing the right thing, because tolerance does not equal anything nice or good. It equals sludge and mud and heaviness and you feel that in your energy and it finds its way to your physical body and then illness sets in. We're pains, back pains, stomach pains, headaches. So be honest with yourself and answer those questions. Now I have more for you.

Mandie Woodard 18:45

I want you to really contemplate this why do you do things? Really, ask yourself, why do you do the things you do? And it could be in a positive way too. This isn't necessarily a negative thing, like why do you do the work you do? Why do you wake up early in journal? Why do you want to have a podcast? Why do you want to write a book? Why do you want to go to the gym? Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to eat healthy?

Mandie Woodard 19:18

The reason why these questions are so important is because I want you to really ask yourself and figure out is there any act of desperation? Is there any bit of it where you're just trying to prove that you matter? Are you just trying to prove your worth, that you're worthy when you go to the gym to work out? Is it for you? That's the question. Is it for you or is it because you want to make sure you look good and appear well to other people? And I don't know that there's really anything wrong with that to a degree. But at the end of the day, do for you. What do you like? If you're just looking to prove that you matter, or you're searching for love or to be valued, that is that inner work. You got to find it inside. Now I want you to ask what do you believe about yourself? And get real with this man, get really real with this. What do you believe to be true about yourself? And then ask I want you to ask these questions the real reason I have an issue in my relationship is the real reason I'm not where I want to be in life, is the real reason I'm not financially stable is See, those are the most common ones, but you can go even further down the line with that.

Mandie Woodard 20:45

The real reason I haven't made an effort to get healthy and lose the weight that I know is going to ultimately in my life early is the real reason I haven't started writing that book so that I can share my story. Is the real reason I haven't quit this job. That makes me miserable that I come to work miserable every day. And the real reason I haven't quit this job is, see, we can make excuses, we really can. The real reason I'm not financially stable is because I won't stop driving through the drive-thru of Starbucks. I'm not. I'm not saying this for myself, I'm giving example because I actually did do that recently. I stopped going through the Starbucks drive-thru. I'm not even kidding. Almost $8 for a coffee. I appreciate it. I know they got to be able to pay a living wage to their employees and all the things, but, holy crap, it's not a necessity. We can make coffee at home. Okay, moving on, the reason I'm not financially stable is because I can't say no, I am filling my home with things I don't need, because there is a void deep within me that I am not filling Also not me just giving another example but when you hear that that's hard to hear, get real with yourself.

Mandie Woodard 22:11

Gotta get real with yourself. If you want to deepen this connection and really grow on your journey to self-discovery, then you gotta wipe away the bullshit, you gotta clear out the fat, you gotta see what it is exactly. Be honest, a spiritual path isn't about yoga and breathing. It's about the journey into self. What is the truth within you, growing self-discovery and going on this spiritual awakening. It is not about yoga, it is not about breathing. It's not about buying that expensive candle or that book. It's about the journey into self and what is the truth within you and through this. It's not about what you do. It's about who you become. You can meditate all you want and I will 1000% preach that regularly, but the truth is it's not about the act of meditation. It's about who you become in the process, who you are after you've spent a week, two weeks, three weeks meditating.

Mandie Woodard 23:27

So I ask all those questions because when we are dishonest with ourselves, we end up living this life of pretend, pretending we are okay, when we're not, and in that space we cannot feel whole. There's this void. We will fill it with whatever, whether it's food or buying things or an addiction. It's a void and we will find a way to fill it. And at that point, we're wearing masks. We must take the mask off in order to truly live as your authentic self. You have to take the mask off Because we are capable of growth and we are capable of healing, but you must become so aligned, so in tune with your soul, because when you don't, you live on autopilot and the triggers are plenty and next thing you know, somebody cuts you off on the road and boom, you go from zero to 60. Emotionally speaking, know who you are and your core values.

Mandie Woodard 24:31

When was the last time you just sat and journaled, or even just had peace? When was the last time you carved out a day of nothing? I know that's really hard when you're a parent and you have young kids. I was there. I remember it. I went and learned transcendental meditation in 2017. And I had an almost two year old at that time, or she had just turned two and the practice of transcendental meditation is two 20 minute meditations a day, in the morning and in the evening. And I'll repeat, I had a two year old. I made a lot of excuses. I went back to my teachers and told them this is impossible. I have this young child and they really encouraged me to get creative, to not put so many roles and restrictions around it, to teach her to meditate and you know what? That's exactly what I did. She very much grew to learn what meditation was and she would lay next to me and meditate right along with me at two and three years old. But it took practice, it took patience and it took trying all the time.

Mandie Woodard 25:52

But when you have young kids and it feels like you can't carve that time out, that is when you must carve that time out. Call in reinforcements. We got to find a baby senator. We got to find help. Parents must share the load so that you each get time, because when you do, you are allowing your body to relax and to heal. It's vital to go into that blank space, that empty space, to allow whatever needs to come up to the surface. Come up, because when we're busy we don't hear it, we don't see it, we don't know. You might have this memory that could be even a happy memory that you needed to be reminded of. Let me just tell you this, and this is where I'm going to leave you today Trust the process, trust the healing process, trust the self-discovery process, because it can get really messy and you got to really sit in some hard shit sometimes.

Mandie Woodard 26:58

But here's what I know Is that you are a light being and you must feed that light, you must feed your soul, so that you can call in abundance. And when I say call in abundance, I am not just talking about finances. I am talking about living abundantly in every sense of the word Abundant with joy, abundant with love, abundant with peace. And in order to do that, in order to really call that in and to live that life, you have to deepen that connection with yourself. I want to empower you to create the life of your dreams. I want you to be able to take action on the thought of life. I want to take action on the things that really matter to you and are going to bring you in to the space where you want to be.

Mandie Woodard 27:53

You have this creative magic inside of you and when you allow yourself to clear away the crap and to get attuned with what it is, you really want Because I can tell you, I do not believe that it's a certain car. I do not believe that it is a status in the financial world. It's not any of those things On the surface. We think that's what we want, like this is our goal and, yes, money is great. I love money and there's so much good that can come with making a lot of money and I want you to make a lot of money. But get clear on what you want it for. Get clear on what it is within you that you are really truly searching for. And when you become attuned, when you really connect deeper with yourself, you then slip into the space of flow. It's a flow state and no one's going to pull you out of that Because you've called your power back in. You identify your triggers. You see your triggers as a lesson, as a teaching point.

Mandie Woodard 29:05

It's time to get out of this space of lack, get out of autopilot, go in deep and figure out what it is that your beliefs are. What do you believe to be true about yourself? What do you believe Period? Because it's your beliefs that create your thoughts. Your thoughts create your feelings and it's through the way that you feel that you then take action, and that's what will create your current reality. That's what creates your reality.

Mandie Woodard 29:36

If you don't believe that you deserve time to rest, if you believe this idea of it's not possible for you because you've got too much going on, then I'm here to tell you, my friend, you're going to stay stuck where you are and if you like your current reality, then that's okay. But if you don't, if you're a habitual complainer, if you feel like there is a lot of negative energy surrounding you, then my question for you is what are you going to do about it? It's time to elevate to a higher state, to allow ourselves to become conscious beings, and in order to do that, we got to go inward. Alright, I'm going to leave you with all of that for today, and I hope you are so well where you are. I am sending so much love out into the world right now. There are a lot of dark things happening and we do need to face them, but we also need to shine our light. So I hope that you will go out and shine your light and take care of yourself so that you can shine your light bright.

Mandie Woodard 30:48

If you found value in this episode, I would love so much if you shared it with a friend or even posted about it on your social media. You can give me a tag. My coaching Instagram is lineheartcoachingco and my personal handle that I use more than anything is lifewithmandi, underscore. Alright, my friend, please remember that you are loved and you are valued and you are appreciated. Bye now.