Courageous Conversations with Lionheart Coaching Co
Courageous Conversations with Lionheart Coaching Co
Happiness is an Inside Job | Conversaion with Mēagan Sky ep 050
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I'm excited to share with you a heartfelt conversation with our remarkably talented guest, Mēagan Sky. Megan's music doesn't just entertain, it touches souls, particularly those of women going through personal transformations. Her journey - as a musician, a mother, and an inspiring individual - is equally captivating. Join us as we dive deep into the importance of authenticity in relationships and the liberating power of self-expression.
Check out more from Mēagan here: Meagan Sky Music
Follow her on insta: instagram.com/meaganskymusic
And if you're interested in joining me for the 6 week workshop in January, here are all the deets! It's Time to Fight
website:
lionheartcoachingco.com
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Courageous Conversations and Empowering Workshops
Speaker 1I would not treat myself the way that I would encourage or treat or love a best friend of mine. It was in that moment that I realized that this wasn't up to my husband, my family, my career or any outside form of validation to make me feel okay. It's when I realized it was all up to me.
Speaker 2Welcome to courageous conversations with Lionheart Coaching Co. I'm your host, mandy Woodard, and my goal with this podcast is to empower you to own your story and to live courageously in your relationships, with your goals and any adventures you might go on, and especially in your healing and self-discovery journey. I want to show you what's possible through what I teach and share and through the stories of others. Alright, my friend, let's get started. Hello there, welcome back to the podcast, or, if you're here for the first time, welcome. I'm glad to have you. It is December 12th 2023. And this is episode 50. Oh my gosh, is it episode 50? I'm not gonna lie. I have to pull my phone out and check it is. It is episode 50. I am patting myself on the back for that. I really am. Especially this time of year.
Speaker 2It is hard to keep up with editing the podcast and getting episodes out, but I do it because one I love it, I love the podcast, I love having conversations, I love sharing those conversations. But also, we're on a mission here and if we don't put in the work, you're not gonna see results. And even when it's hard, even when you're tired I mean I'm tired and I need some rest, and I will. I will honor that. I preach it all the time that we have to honor our bodies and rest when we need rest. But sometimes you've got to put in the work. You've just got to put in the work, and that's me with 50 episodes of this podcast. That's. I mean, it's pretty incredible to me. And, by the way, if you've been here for all 50 episodes or even part of them, or maybe you're a new listener and you just started with me here, I just want you to know how grateful I am for you, that it means a lot that you will press, play and listen, and I hope you do it for you, because that's what matters. Like I hope you're really getting something out of these episodes, because that's why I do this, that's why I do this work.
Speaker 2And speaking of doing this work and teaching and sharing this knowledge, I want to say this we finished up the Beta Group workshop last week. I was hosting a free workshop for three weeks and I was doing it as a test run, so I called them my beta babes and I just really needed to get in there and start something. I really love teaching it's a huge passion of mine and teaching about energy and intuition and building confidence and stepping into your power. These are things that just light me up when I talk about it and I have so much to share to help, to help you have breakthroughs and aha moments. And so we just finished up the three weeks of that and now it's time to do the actual workshop, which will begin in January. So I am sharing this with you because I want to invite you to check that out.
Speaker 2If you feel called, if you're like I am really feeling like I need a change, or maybe you don't want to go another year not going after your goals, maybe your energy just feels stuck and you feel stagnant, I want to help you through that. So I have this amazing six week workshop that I have put together, and the feedback that I got from the three weeks has been pretty incredible. It's been really cool to read the takeaways and what they got out of the Reiki meditations and then to read the testimonies is pretty amazing because I can see how it's really been able to be helpful. And when we are in alignment, when we are our authentic self and we are operating at this higher frequency which is something that I really teach is the frequency chart, we raise the vibration of the people around us. So, as I'm teaching, I am in a much higher vibration and as you're receiving, you get to go up into that higher vibration and then you get to go out into this world and lift someone else up. That's how it works. Each one teach one, one lights the way, and then another lights the way, and then another lights the way, and it just keeps going and going and going. So I hope you will check that out and decide to join me, because I know we're going to have a lot of fun. There's going to be a lot of learning and lots of growth. More than anything, lots of growth. I'll post a link for that in the show notes so you can check it out.
Speaker 2But let's talk about today's guest.
Speaker 2Today's guest is my sweet friend.
Speaker 2Her name is Megan Sky.
Speaker 2She is a very talented musician.
Speaker 2She lives on the other side of the States for me and you might be wondering how on earth did I meet her?
Speaker 2Well, we talk about that, but I'll just tell you.
Speaker 2We got put in a pod together for a mentorship that I was in over the summer and I just adore her so much. I have learned so much from her. I've loved being able to collaborate and bounce ideas around with her in the pod that we were in and we still meet, because our group just we really hit it off and I couldn't wait to have her come on this podcast because I knew she had some beautiful wisdom to share and that she did so. She is a singer, songwriter and performer and she is a talented artist all the way around, to be truthful, and I love her perspective on things and what she shares. So I really hope you enjoy this conversation. I'm going to go ahead and let us get into it. So, without further ado, here is my guest for today's courageous conversation Megan Sky. Megan, the beautiful Megan. I'm so glad you're here to share with me today, and I don't even know where we're going to go with our conversation, but I feel like it's going to flow, because our conversations usually flow pretty well.
Speaker 1I love it. I wasn't sure what to expect either and I was like we're good, like we're just going to flow with whatever comes up, so I'm glad you're on the same page.
Speaker 2I didn't even prep you or anything. I trust you. I trust you, a horrible podcast host. So let's just start here, because we met, because we have the same mentor and we were put in a pod together and you are this talented musician which, by the way, I was so excited I'm running this free workshop. Megan is in it but I went to play a song at the start of my first call and I'm like scrolling on the side because I didn't have one picked. I was like hoping something was just going to jump out at me and then I saw yours I'll be the one right there and I was like, oh my gosh, I have to play this. And it was so perfect. You missed it because I was like well no, I was.
Speaker 2I played this song because people were still rolling in and I needed to admit people, so it was like a perfect little buffer of time, and you hopped in right as soon as it stopped playing, but it was so perfect timing, though, and I go to say, well, there she is. I love that.
Speaker 1I don't think I had a chance to tell you that there's a lot of synchronicity with you having chosen that, because I just had a conversation with somebody else about. You know, I really want my music to reach a lot of women and a lot of women that are going through personal transformation and empowerment and kind of waking up in their lives and, you know, taking their lives into their own hands and how. I want it to be involved in a lot of retreats and you know things like that. And we had just started talking about the whole online opportunity. I kept thinking, oh, it needs to be.
Speaker 1You know, at a physical retreat where I would perform, and I had just kind of got this aha that this is an amazing offering for you know a lot of online workshops and retreats to kind of bring people into the room and center the intention or celebrate at the end or whatever the thing is. So it's so interesting that that had happened, because I just had that conversation with somebody that I was asking advice on, like how to get better connected to my people. So there, was.
Speaker 2It just happens, though I know it just happens. That's what we hear all the time, that we just need to be because it'll just happen. You just need to create it. It's not that we don't need to take action steps, because I do think we need to do that too, but a lot of times it's those synchronicities it just happens Well and those.
Speaker 1I think those synchronicities are what lets you know that you're on the right path. Right when you do, you do make the action. I made the music, I put the intention out that I wanted to reach people, but then you kind of sit back and see like what is, what's the world feeding back to you? And if it starts to align like that, then you're like, yes, this is, this is where it needs to be.
Speaker 2So yeah, Well, I would agree with all of that. I feel like that's the same thing I've been feeling lately, but I want to hear a little bit more about you. So you live on the West Coast, you're in Portland, yes, and you're a mama.
Speaker 1Yes, I'm a mom. I'm a mom of twin boys and I'm living in Portland. I'm originally from Oakland, california, and this is my second foray in Portland and moved back here in 2017. So, been here for what is that? Six years, almost six years on top of a previous, like seven years. I didn't. So, yeah, I guess this is my home now.
Speaker 2Yeah, Do you feel settled there?
Speaker 1I have always had a toe out the door back in the Bay Area. I have a love affair with the Bay Area in San Francisco and I always imagined myself living there, like in Marin. It's literally my happy place. Like I want my ashes scattered across Mount Tam over the ocean. It's just one of the most beautiful places and I feel really aligned to that place. There's redwoods, there's rolling hills with vistas in the ocean. It's like it's a very dynamic but warm place too and a lot to explore. So I think my heart will always have a place there.
Speaker 1But and I wasn't really sure that I wanted to come back to Portland it was kind of a heartbreaking situation to leave the Bay Area and realize that I wasn't going to go after that dream or that goal. But a lot of other things opened up when we got here and one of those big things was being able to do music. I don't think that if we had stayed in the Bay Area we would have been able to afford that kind of flexibility with my time, and here it's a more affordable place I mean it's changing, like I said but it provided stability and financially and flexibility for me to be able to explore music and what I wanted to share with the world. And I think if I'd stayed in the Bay Area I would have been more just nose down, make income to keep everything afloat kind of situation.
Speaker 2But so that's actually interesting. I didn't know that. So you were in the Bay Area doing something completely different.
Speaker 1Yeah, I mean my schooling, education was in fine art and design and I always chose art and design over music because it felt easier to me, it just came easier. My parents were both more artistic rather than musical. I did not grow up with musicians in the house, but I always knew from a really young age that I just had this vision of me being a singer, like I just really wanted that, and it never felt very clear on how to achieve that, whereas fine art and design felt like a much clearer path that I could map out with, not so much with fine art but with design. It became very clear to me after I graduated college that there was a career path there waiting for me, so I just chose the more logical path, you know, more rational path. But that only can go on for so long before it bites you in the butt, you know, because your truest desires and intentions in this world will always be there whispering to you, and the whisper got really loud, yeah, and I needed to follow that. So, but yeah, so my back.
Speaker 1My career background is as a creative director for brand building. I've worked with a plethora of industries like the entertainment industry, sportswear, home goods, lifestyle, like I even owned, started a ceramics drinkware company with some friends and did all the branding for that and I just followed the. I have like a. I feel like it's easy for me to see and visualize what things should look like, and so I really honed that skill and I was able to draw upon photography that I had taken in college to figure out how to art direct photo shoots for ad campaigns and took from illustration and drawing that I did in college and turned that into surface design and graphics and motifs and you know it.
Speaker 1Just, it really lent itself to a career in design and creative direction. So I was all of that and I was actually working for. So basically my husband works for Nike and I was ended up working for an agency up in Portland while we were still living down in the Bay Area. So we were both working for companies in Portland but living down there at a certain point. So it just didn't really make sense to be, was it? Because it's a lot of you. It's about an hour and a half flight hour, 45 minute flight, 10 hour drive, you know, and yeah, it's not something you want to do like regularly, unless you love getting on an airplane once a month and being gone from your family for five days or whatever you know. Like it just was sustainable.
Speaker 2So yeah, so you came to Portland, and is that when you started making music? When did you say that's it, I'm going to start pursuing music? What was there? Like a big aha moment, or something?
Speaker 1Yeah, oh, I'd love to hear it. It was in 2019, and I just hit rock bottom. I just I just had given so much, I'd been hustling so hard. I had raised my twins they were, I mean, I don't know how old they were then they were probably eight or something like that and I was just like so burnt out, so tapped out, and I kept like I said, that whisper just kept getting louder and I kept feeling like I want something different and I need some, and I felt like I needed someone to tell me that I was worth more and what I really wanted. My husband and like, save me from these feelings that I was having was totally restless, completely restless and kind of just miserable, just wanting something different and feeling not really seen, you know, for what I wanted to share and how I wanted to show up in the world.
Speaker 1And when I look back, it's all the same themes from my childhood. It's a narrative that had been running in my subconscious my entire life, which is that it's easier to just please people, to feel loved and don't take risk to do the thing that's obvious, that you know will be successful, and you know a lot of other things like that that really created a situation where I felt like a victim in my own life and I just hit rock bottom one day and I couldn't get out of bed. It was just so bad I just stopped getting out. And I'm not that kind of person like I'm a go getter, I'm a morning person. I wake up and I'm like what, what are we doing today, you know? And I just couldn't even get out of bed. And no matter what anybody did in my family, nothing was really working. And so at a certain point, after that flood of emotion came over me, I realized I couldn't keep on like that. Like I had children to take care of, the resilience, so much of lying in bed that I could do. I'm kind of like I said I go get her.
Speaker 1So I just it wasn't okay with doing that for for too long, and so I started to kind of pull myself out of it and started asking myself well then, what do you really need if this is not working? What is it that you need? And so it gave me this, this launching point to reevaluate everything. Like I reevaluated the way that my marriage was working, I reevaluated my income and how I was generating that and really started to reevaluate my values and I remember, like working with a life coach and she's like, well, what are your values? And I was like I don't even know how to answer that. Like I I feel like I know who I am, but I would never know how to answer that and even now, if you were to ask me, I wouldn't have like a very succinct answer for you.
Speaker 1But I started to realize that I wasn't living in tune to my own value system, like I would not treat myself the way that I would encourage or treat or love a best friend of mine. It was in that moment that I realized that this wasn't up to my husband, my family, my career, any outside form of validation to make me feel okay. It's when I realized it was all up to me. And that is when I realized that I wanted to become the musician that I had always dreamt of becoming, and it was from that place that I wrote the album I'll Be the One, and the song I'll Be the One is that statement to myself, like, if no one else can make me feel the way that I want to feel, I'm going to do it, I'm going to love myself. And when I realized that it had to be me. I'm not going to lie like it was.
Empowering Self-Reliance in Relationships
Speaker 1That was also a heartbreak. I thought somebody was going to come in and meet me where I was and be like I got you, come with me, let me. Let me take you to where you need to be, let me show you all the things that you're meant to be, because I think I really wanted that, as a young child, was to be nurtured like that, and that wasn't what happened, and so I had to do it for myself and I. It was heartbreaking to realize no one else was going to do it, but when I realized it was me, it was like so liberating because I didn't have to wait for anybody. I just had to teach myself how to do it and give myself the courage to do it and, like I said, really tune into my value system rather than my old, outdated ways of operating that were like these protective mechanisms to keep me safe, you know, but restless and sad and like a victim, you know so your story sounds so.
Speaker 2I mean, everybody's story is unique and your path is unique. But I feel like there's so many pieces of your story that I know I relate to and that a lot of people relate to. I feel so much like that's why the lyrics in your music are as powerful as they are, because they can reach so many people and connect with them through this similar storyline. I mean, as you're sitting here sharing, I'm kind of thinking to myself like yeah, I had that moment lying in the bed, probably 2000. It was like 2018, 2019 for me. That's when I hired my first life coach. She asked me a similar question that kind of knocked me and it was like why do you matter? I was like I don't know. I was hoping you were going to tell me.
Speaker 2Right, I was hoping you were going to save me. We do. We want somebody else to come pull us out of that hole when really we have this ability to climb out ourselves. But it's not easy. It's really hard to do that.
Speaker 1No, and you do. You do need a team of people friends, family around you that understand hey, I'm going to, I'm trying to figure this out, and you can go to them and be like can you be my cheerleader? Today I need a little extra encouragement, because you don't have that muscle built yet in your psychology to do that, for yourself, to be your own cheerleader yet. Yet I emphasize, yet and so I did need people around me to help encourage me. And at the end of the day, though, like any outside validation was something that could come and go, like the ups and the downs, like the praise or the fumbles, like I realized that if I was waiting for somebody else to tell me it was okay or good enough, then that could come and go, whereas if I told myself that that's something I get to decide and no one can take that from me, yeah, yeah, well, and two, I agree very much with needing people.
Speaker 2I think that's like one of my top things is like when we are working through our healing journey, we have to create I don't want to call it a safety plan, but it's almost like a plan of action for when you're working through and who's your call list, who can you call when you're low?
Speaker 2That's a big one, and I needed that life coach to believe in me because I didn't believe in me. And it's almost like a life coach carries that belief until you absorb it, until you then believe it too. Yeah, that I agree with everything you just said 100%. And then two, on the other end, what I was thinking that came through when you were talking is about marriage and how a lot of times we feel like it's our job to make our spouse happy, like we have to do all these things to make them happy Right when really we have to find that within ourselves, like that is quite a journey to be able to relieve them of that. Yeah, and also, you know we don't want to hurt people. We don't want to treat them like and say, well, your happiness is your thing, but it's like we can't put all the weight on them.
Importance of Authenticity in Relationships
Speaker 1No, and I think when you do that, that's when your marriage can really flourish or any relationship really. Like if you're sitting there waiting for the other person to make you feel good or you're putting out all this energy to make them feel good, but then they don't. It becomes a very, it becomes very pointed, like you did this and I did this, whereas like when you just show up with all your stuff and like your wounds and your triggers and you own them and you're like this is me and that's you, and when you do that it lands this way for me, then it's not. You don't get into as many arguments, you just own yourself and you're like this is who I am and these are my feelings and that's you and those are your feelings and I'm here to support you and I need you to understand where I'm coming from. It's just so much more healthy, whereas, like I think a lot of us were trained while I was trained to be a pleaser, so like if I could just make him happy, then I should be happy, but he wasn't necessarily operating that way, or sometimes you have a different love language, so it doesn't always. It just doesn't always work out that way where you feel totally reciprocated enough to feel fulfilled. And that's when you just need to love yourself enough to honor your feelings and show up in the relationship in a way where you have that inner strength and confidence to know, like these are just my feelings, they're my truth, yeah, and you have yours.
Speaker 1And I think, just going back to what you're saying about, like my story is unique, but the story resonates. That's what really happened when I started to write all these songs about self. Love was like it was so much bigger than me, you know, and realizing that even just the act of doing it became something very interesting to other people to watch, to watch me show up, to watch me fumble around with my own insecurities but still keep trying, you know, like that became really inspiring to some other people and that really inspired me. And when I realized it was so much bigger than me and that this was a gift that I could give by just doing the act of like showing up for myself in this way to honor my creative voice and put it out into the world, that not only the messages related, but just the act of doing it was like helpful for other people to see. It was that was transformative too, you know.
Speaker 2I get that it's, and we fear showing up and we fear, like I'd imagine, to sing and write, to write a song and then to record the song and then put it out. There has to be almost. I don't know, I could be making this up. You could say no, that's not how it feels, but to me it's almost like standing on a stage naked, like I'm showing you all the parts of me. Yeah, hoping that you receive it. But is there a process to that where it's just like it doesn't even matter anymore?
Speaker 1Well and it's funny because that's what we should be doing essentially every day when we're out functioning in the world is showing up real like and letting ourselves be seen. So, really, you think about it that way. Well then, what's the difference between me getting on stage and doing it? This is what I should be doing when I'm at the grocery store or talking to my parent or my children's teachers or, you know, talking to my family members and best friends, like, or even strangers. Right, you should be showing up authentically, like that. So when I break it down, I'm like now there's nothing to be worried about, but oh my gosh, yes, it's terrifying, it's absolutely terrifying. It's like, so vulnerable and my lyrics are vulnerable and not sugarcoating anything. I'm not.
Speaker 1You know, I purposefully tried to really write these songs and co-write with people that could hold a mirror up to me and my emotions, and I went into these writing sessions just like here's the back story, like here's the drama, here's the trigger, here's the you know, the weight that I've been carrying around, that I want to write about, and like that's what these are about. So it's like when you put work out like that, like that as an artist, it's so personal and it's so vulnerable that, yeah, it can be scary to wonder how it might be received, but when you think about it it's like well, if people don't receive it well, then they're not meant to like receive it, or they're just not the people that I need to be around, because if this is authentically me, then that's just who it is like. That that's that's me showing up as me, and that needs to be enough, you know.
Speaker 2Yeah, well, I okay, I love all of that and it's it makes me think of the idea that we got to take the mask off, because, you're right, we do have to be authentic in all these different connections and these relationships and, be honest, I feel like it's something I always am feeling for myself and saying it's like say what you need to say. You can say it in a way that's with love, but don't put the mask on and pretend like you're fine or this is okay, but I love that you said that in that way that it we got to be that all the time no matter on the stage or talking to our spouse or family or whoever.
Preparing for Shows and Overcoming Nervousness
Speaker 1Yeah, but I still wrestle with it, like it's not, it doesn't go away, it just becomes more familiar. Like I have a bunch of shows coming up in 2024 that I have been working really hard to book and secure. I was, you know, almost sad in 2023, not being able to book enough shows. The music industry is kind of backlogged, with artists that had been committed for shows that they couldn't play in 2020 and things started to open up in 21, but kind of not, you know, and so everybody kind of went on tour in 2022 and like even in 2023 it was still just, it was just hard.
Speaker 1I wanted to launch this years ago and I feel like I'm stuck in a way because of COVID and just the learning curve of doing it, and so all that say like I have these shows finally coming up and I'm nervous, like I'm like, are people going to come? There's thoughts that start to race through my head that want to keep me safe, that are fear based and they're not about curiosity, they're not about love and light and creativity, and I have to understand and be like that's a thought that's fear based, that's trying to protect me. It's no longer useful. Sit in the back seat. I'm driving like I know what I want and I'm not letting that drive my behavior or my decision making. You know.
Speaker 2And I have to wonder to you because are you a highly sensitive person? I think I've asked you this before. We've. Oh yeah, I'm also a highly sensitive person and one of the traits the personality traits of a highly sensitive person is there's this nervousness before going in front of a crowd, doesn't matter what you're doing, like speaking or what that. That just it's inevitable, it's going to be there, but how you handle it. And I was listening to. I was listening to Joe Rogan and David Blaine. I wanted to listen to David Blaine and he said he still gets nervous before his Vegas shows and this man's been doing that for years. Yeah, I don't know if that ever goes away.
Speaker 1You know, I decided again it's still you, it's still something you got to work through, and I have some thoughts on that too, like how to prepare yourself for those moments. But I decided a while back that that nervous feeling, stage fright or whatever those nerves are, is it's you caring, it's because you care, like if you didn't care and it didn't matter to you, you wouldn't be nervous. You care, you want it to be good, you want it to resonate, you want human connection. So if you can unpack why you're nervous or I've been judged my whole life I'm really scared that people are going to judge me and then, like, look around and be like, really, is it? No, that's just you being worried about judgment. Really, no one's really probably judging or paying all that much of attention. You know trying to protect yourself, and so I think when you can unpack that nervous system, it really helps.
Speaker 1And the other thing that's helped me a ton is meditation like and when I say meditation it's like visualization, like I am visual eyes. What is it going to feel like when I'm on stage? What is? What's the feeling I want to cultivate with my band? What's the feeling I want to cultivate when my like connect my eyes to an audience member, I want my voice to sound and resonate in the room, and what's the sensation I want to feel in my body and when I can visualize that over and over and over again. The same as practicing a scale or hitting a high note like you just do it, or kicking a soccer ball into a goal. You do it over and over, and over and over again, to the point when you get onto that game field or onto that stage it feels more natural just to do it and you and you make the goal, or you hit the note, or you just have more confidence in that moment because you've set yourself up to believe that it's possible. You know.
Speaker 2I, really I. That's such great advice and it makes me think of did you ever hear about that study where they had, I think they broke it off into thirds and a third of the basketball team only visualized shooting the shot? A third of the basketball team actually practiced free throws, they were shooting their free throws, and then another third did absolutely nothing. And ones who improved the visualization group improved more, if not the same in some cases, as the ones that were physically doing the practicing. But really being able to see that, see that follow through, I have, I mean, I've been teaching my kids this trick forever because they've all done sports and I'm especially around basketball. I would tell them, like, see it, close your eyes and watch it, watch your every motion, every motion from the bounce and then the.
Speaker 2you know, I don't know the verb I don't play sports, but they get what I'm saying and you, it becomes innate because what you do in practice, you do in play. So I love that you just said that, because I don't think that I've thought about it in terms of that and I do get so nervous. And I've done a few speaking events and then, of course, 2020 stopped those fully because I was doing them. I did a few in 29, I did, I did like three in 2019, and I haven't done any sense. And by the time I did the third one in 2019, it was not so bad, but the first one my hand was shaking with the microphone. Yeah, I could not. I could not get it together.
Speaker 1But like and it's not what's the right word, Like. It's not accurate for us to assume that it wouldn't be. Like there's no confidence built yet. If it's your first time, like, you're going to need to get more of these under your belt until you're like oh, this is familiar, I can feel more confident going into this. I've done this a few times now. If it's your first or second or third time, of course it's going to feel nerve wracking.
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 1Because you've done it before, it's new. Your nervous system is like I don't know the outcome. This is scary. And it's like, yeah, and if we knew the outcome, you'd be restless and lying in bed. So let's go dance in the unknown and like figure out what we can co-create with the universe by just showing up, you know. And it's like, yeah, it's only in those moments that we're going to find change and shift and transformation in our lives. If we stay safe and like let our nervous system decide, it's just going to want to stay in bed. That's beautiful.
Speaker 2Have you heard I'm sure you have heard this where it's like if you're nervous, it's because you're thinking about yourself and you're not thinking about the person that needs to receive it and I do think part of that's true too. Like it might like take the nerves down just a little bit to be like, oh, you know what these people really need to hear this. But also it's hard to remember that, like even when I'm saying doing my workshops or recording on podcasts, it's not that I get nervous doing all of these things every time, but it is. It's that hope that it's going to land. And without feedback, without that energetic exchange, like that's why when people message me about the podcast, they have no idea how much that helps me. Oh, okay, I am saying things that are landing. Oh, this is helping, great, let me keep going. If it's silent, you're kind of like is this thing on Anybody?
Speaker 1help there. Right, it's just me, myself and I. You know you're just doing it for yourself in a way, and there's a lot to be said for that too. But yes, I do agree. It's a really good point to make when it becomes bigger than you and you're offering something to the world that people need and you start to believe that, like my creativity, my offering is something that is needed and it's bigger than me and get out of your own way and like, show up for other people and help them. It takes the pressure off completely, because when it's just about you and yourself, it's like you and your ego could battle it out all day, you know. But when you drop that and you're like it's not about me, it's about other people, then there's no room for that ego to hop in and for that nervous system to take over.
The Art of Songwriting and Self-Expression
Speaker 2You know, yeah, yeah. So you know what. I really am fascinated with the creation process, especially as it pertains to writing music, and I would love to take you back to that and kind of go backwards here in our conversation, because I want to hear more about that. Like, what were you doing? I would love to just be in the room with somebody when they're in that creation process. Even if you think it looks messy, like to me, I love it. I love the energy in a room when you're coming up with stuff. You said you worked with writers too to help me. You're back to you. I would love to hear more about that.
Speaker 1Yeah, I would say I've always been a person that has had little lyrics kind of float into my mind like little downloads or just little aha kind of ways to frame things up with words or melodies, just kind of humming.
Speaker 1Something to myself would be like a song seed or like a little fragment. So those are always kind of floating around for me. But when I made the conscious effort to go, after being a musician in whatever form that was going to take, a primarily singer and songwriter, it was like a faucet got turned on and I would just wake up in the middle of the night with like stuff I needed to write down or write as I was like drifting off into sleep. I would get song lyric ideas or wake up in the morning and I would have them. I'd be out on a walk and I would have them. So I literally I mean, how many voice memos do I have on my phone? Like 17,000 voice memos or something stupid Like I just I would just capture them as quickly as like hundreds of Google docs, you know, just stuff like that. And then I had the amazing, fortunate experience of getting connected to this woman, carrie Cole, who runs kind of like a music label services company in New York. She's also a vocal coach and her whole thing is like helping artists tap into their own unique stories and turn them into songs that are like going to cut through the noise and really be authentic. And so I had the chance to work with her and go through a bunch of exercises where I basically outlined like the top major chapters of my life and the themes and the ahas and epiphanies that and lessons that came from those and my life is pretty intense, like I've had some really prolific moments in my life, a lot of really intense and profound lessons, and so it was very easy for me to like start to map those out, and what I noticed is there was some core themes that were repeating themselves throughout my life and and I was also grappling with this whole waking up in my life and realizing that I needed to put my needs on the front burner, and so it all boiled down to self love, and so I started to just map out the different emotional, psychological stages that I was going through and each one of them became a song.
Speaker 1So I got connected to some amazing co-writers through Carrie and I would go into these writing sessions with a very specific theme Like this one is about limiting beliefs. Like I have a song called tension and release and the song is like about that whole feeling that we talked about earlier on in our conversation, about feeling stuck in your own life, like knowing that you want more for yourself but not quite letting it happen and getting out of your own way and not wanting to let yourself down. And so I wrote out like all of that. I had back stories so I would go into these writing sessions knowing a what I really wanted to talk about and I would also have reference tracks. So I had like a collection of songs that I was like this is the sounds that I want to go for.
Speaker 1And the sound was also very thoroughly thought through because it leaves together the urban Oakland upbringing that I had in the Bay Area with soul and you know R&B mixed with kind of heart on your sleeves. You know Fleetwood, mac, paul Simon, like Bonnie Raitt, kind of stuff that I grew up listening to with my parents and that I have kind of more of a tendency to write that kind of singer songwriter style and always was kind of more poetic. So I was like what if I could fuse the poetic heart on your sleeve, lyric writing style with melodies and grooves that are more soulful, and that is how that style that I developed evolved. And when you're in these writing sessions, you know I like to do them over. I know there's like lots of people that love to just write a whole song all in one session, but I really love writing from the chorus backwards if possible, because then you get to have all of the verse lyrics lead up to the chorus and the chorus is the payoff, it makes you understand. So you're kind of reverse engineering from the chorus and the chorus is the main emotion, it's the main thing you're trying to say.
Speaker 1And then for me, starting with a groove and writing to the groove was really helpful to get me outside of that typical kind of singer songwriter style that I was kind of stuck in at that point. And to make them more soulful was to write to an actual groove or baseline or something like that, and then you kind of can come back to the writing session. You do that for like an hour and a half or two and then you can come back like another day or two later when you've had some time for me. I need time, like I need to kind of walk around it and like sing it to myself and let it sit in my body and like have revelations about it as I'm going through my life, and then I would usually write the second verse or a bridge or just button it up. You know what I mean. And then you go back again and you just edit it.
Speaker 1So I guess the biggest thing with writing and any sort of creativity that I've learned from this process is you don't edit first, you just let it out, like in the purest, most honest form, what are the things that are you're saying to yourself inside your head that you haven't said out loud yet? Like what are the messages that you wish you could have told yourself as a small child? Like any of these things that are really honest, and don't try to make them rhyme just yet. Like, don't worry, just get them out, get the honesty out, start to map out the different kind of chapters of your song and, you know, get poetic and then come back later and you can edit. You know, because it's just, you try to edit at the same time as writing. Something gets compromised. You end up not saying what you want to say so that it'll rhyme or you end up, I don't know. It's just, it's not, it's not quite right. So well, I have to explain.
The Process of Creating and Editing
Speaker 2No, that was so perfect. That's everything I wanted to hear. Honestly, I really am fascinated with this process and I love that you said that you got to just get it out, because I heard Harry Connick Jr say this just create the thing and then go back and edit. You have to create something. That's that you need to edit. So I love that and we can do that in any way. Like gosh, somebody trying to write a book, they want to make it perfect from start to finish. I'm probably like giving myself this advice right now. It's like no, you just got to get it out.
Speaker 1I mean the podcast right, like let's have a conversation and then we can like edit it a little bit if we need to to make it make more sense in a, you know, streamlined kind of storyline, you know.
Speaker 2But yeah, photography too. Like right, I loved working in Photoshop and it becomes this, so maybe you can give me your feedback on this too. Like how it is, especially in terms of creating music, because I am a perfectionist when it comes to my photography work and I find I'm the same way with the podcast. Like, I see myself creating a piece of art, no matter what it is, and I very much edit it. People think, oh, you're just so good at that. No, I cleaned it up a lot, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2So I'm kind of zooming in on a photograph and getting any little blemish or mark when I'm doing like, let's say, a newborn session. This mom just gave birth. She's not feeling so great about herself. Of course I'm gonna go in and help under her eyes and things like that, because she's exhausted. I really took that. I've always taken my work seriously. That's just who I am, doesn't matter what I'm doing. But I always took that so serious to make sure that it looked natural, but also at its very best, and I become I wonder too is it too much Like? What's your opinion on that?
Speaker 1I think if it paralyzed you from releasing the song or sharing the photograph, like if it got to a point where you were like it's just never gonna be good enough, there was some internal dialogue going on like that, then it's not helping. And I also think it just depends on what the purpose is behind your work, like in that example that you just gave. The purpose of that photo session is to celebrate life and to have a piece of imagery that this family can hold onto and feel really, really lit up about and not be self-conscious about. So you're doing them a favor by softening some things up so that this mom can celebrate the moment and not be like looking at things that might not feel appealing to her. But if you were wrestling with stuff so much that it was stopping you from putting it out and or if you're just like you're getting in your own head, then that's not really helpful. And I think it's also important to remember too that in any new endeavor or form of creativity it's like the Ivor Glass quote I can't quote it perfectly, but it's like you're never gonna be as perfect as you know it can be from the start, like you have to just do it and then we get to the 10,000 hours conversation, right, like you're gonna have to do it over and over and over again. It's not gonna just come out of you the first time, as good as you imagine it.
Speaker 1Your taste is really good. Your taste is really really good. Your skill and ability to execute on what your taste is may not be there yet. You're gonna have to do it over and over and over again until you can refine that craft or that skill. So I think just knowing that like yeah, there's a certain level of editing that feels comfortable for you and it is an art form in itself, editing can be an art form in itself. You know, knowing when to leave empty space in a song, knowing when to just repeat a line rather than saying something new All that is so important. It's what makes something catchy, it's what makes it sit in a space the right way, you know. Or knowing when to come and be like you know what. This isn't the right key I need to bring this down a half step so that my voice can really shine or any of that kind of stuff can be really helpful too.
Speaker 2So just knowing that I knew you were gonna give me a good answer on that. I knew you would and that was perfect?
Speaker 2Oh, of course, perfect, that was the word I would use. But you're right, if it's hindering you and you're not able to finish, if it's like really like you're freezing and you're not completing, that's when you know it's a problem. So that was such a good answer. You know, what's really funny is when I was in high school, which was when I started my photography business, my teacher, my photography teacher, loved her so much, still talked to her. She always just said shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, just keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, cause it's the only way, but that's just true.
Speaker 2That's okay, we're talking about photography, but that's the same thing with writing.
Speaker 1They say you can write 20 songs to get one good one.
Speaker 2Oh, so how many tell me that, like, how many songs did it take to get the ones that you did?
Speaker 1I don't know, like. I mean, I know that I wrote, I know that I wrote eight that were like the gems, but there was all these fragments of versions of those songs that weren't quite it. You know, and really you should be writing every day, like you should be just exercising that muscle of creating on the spot, like with your instrument, and just seeing what flows out of you, without it necessarily needing to be anything, because if you don't have that warmed up, then when it is time to sit down and write something very specific for you know yourself or somebody else, it's like that needs to come out pretty easily. So you've got to keep it going. And the same with photography. Like I've art directed so many photo shoots and it's like you go back and you look at all of the shots and it's like, yeah, there's that one and it's so it. Like it is that one shot, that is so it, but it's literally surrounded by 50 other shots that weren't quite it.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's why I have 90,000 photos in my phone, because I predominantly use my phone anymore to take pictures of my kids and stuff.
Speaker 1but it's like I'll take a hundred pictures and that doesn't mean you shouldn't go out there and shoot 50 shots, like you absolutely are going to need to shoot the 50 shots to get the one, and we only remember that. Like we're not going to come out of the gate. Perfectly, we got to just do it and keep doing it, you know? Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2So when you know it's time to write a new album, like when do you know that it's a good time to write a new set, Like are you still loving and just being with this music that you've created? And when you are ready to start creating new again, you will like how does that work?
Speaker 1I think it's different for every artist. I think we go through seasons of creativity, the faucets turning back on. For me right now, there was times when I was promoting and marketing my album that the faucet was completely dry. Like I'd be, like, oh, it'd be so great to write when I had a few minutes and it was just like not, it didn't come as easily. And then I started to get some more ideas and I'm writing again now and I have about five or so songs that I'm feeling really good about. But and I'd like to put out an album in 2024, like an EP or a series of singles that lead up, you know, to something, because it's just feels good to put stuff out.
Speaker 1I think if we're too precious about it again at a certain point, it's not helping.
Speaker 1But I also believe that quality over quantity too, like you know, that it should be something that's really true to you and feels really good and that you're excited to put out into the world and that you don't feel like you just have to for like an algorithm or you know whatever, spotify or but it, you know.
Speaker 1But if you see, you know major artists usually do that they'll put out an album, they'll write an album, they'll be dark, you won't hear from them for a long time, they kind of like drop off of your feed or you just don't really know. And then they put out an album and then they tour and they go around and they promote that album for a long time, for like a year or two, but then they go kind of quiet again and that's cause they're writing and they're getting ready, and then they're recording and then they put it out again. So it's like it's just a cycle that I think a lot of musicians go through. If you're a writer and that's your primary form of music, then you're just doing it all the time. But if you're a performing artist, you're typically, I would guess and this is true for me going through that cycle.
Speaker 2Yeah, well, I have seen plenty of memes talking about Adele, like living the life that everybody is really hoping for. Just like eight months of straight work and then just here for like 10 years. Yeah, they cracked me up, but it's like, yeah, that's what I would like to do actually, yeah, you know, and you've got to seize the moment too, you know so, yeah, well, I can't wait to hear what you're writing.
Speaker 2I love your. I was listening to your stuff on repeat like all last week. Hmm, don't think I'd listen to all of it. I'd listen to one in here, yeah, but I hadn't. Like I was like I want to just be in this energy and that was in such a good energetic place last week, like early in the week, that's so good to hear.
Speaker 2Yeah, it just felt good to listen and feel that high frequency. Like you, I feel like when someone is at their purists, like they're really creating and it's super authentic. You really feel that frequency when you're listening. It really raises the vibration of the collective and everybody listening when you're putting it out at that level.
Speaker 1So Thank you for that. So that's quite the compliment, you know, and, of course, like, as you're saying that, I'm like, oh really, like there's so much more I could be. You know we do this to ourselves, so I'm going to take that and say thank you. Yeah, I would say the new stuff that I'm working on is more it's about where I'm at now in my journey, which is getting more comfortable with understanding like we've been talking about this entire conversation, like being able to see through my own mental traps and knowing how to get back to that aligned, lit up, you know, inspired, high vibe self. I want the music to be really inspirational and, you know, still healing old wounds but also having some songs that are just really celebratory, you know.
Speaker 2Yeah Well, it feels very grounded when you talk about it. By the way, it feels like it comes from a very like. You have a very grounded energy.
Speaker 1Do you?
Speaker 2know what I mean when I say that.
Speaker 1Like it feels genuine.
Speaker 2Yeah. And solid like like building a foundation on something solid.
Speaker 1Well, it's honesty. Yeah, you know, if it wasn't, it would probably sound and feel a little bit rockier, like I didn't really know. But when it's, when you get to write about you, as vulnerable as that is, it's just what it is.
Speaker 2Yeah, can we talk a little bit about some of the other things that you've done, because I really want to, if you want. I wanted to highlight your intuitive card readings. Yeah, because that was so beautiful that I got to experience that firsthand with you and it here's what it reminded me, because we feel like we have to give so much, and when I have sessions with people, of course I'm just channeling whatever's coming through. There's sometimes it's a lot, sometimes it's a little, but I always hope that I've given somebody enough to go off of. And it's that reminder of like even just one profound thing can be enough.
Speaker 2But I'm not just card reading with you, and you laid out this journey and it just has been the building blocks it like showed me when I already knew, but in a way that was organized. And I organized these thoughts that were all over the place and I I just would love for you to share a little bit about how you do, like what you're doing, when you do that and your process.
The Power of Tarot Card Readings
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah. So the the card reading is from a system of cards and images that my dad created in the 1970s and then I grew up with it. It was originally called Stargate and then he changed the name to Star Journey after the movie came out and kind of stole the name and it was a lawsuit and blah blah. Anyways, it's called Star Journey and I grew up with it and it's very, very deep. The whole system that he created is very deep and I think for most of my life I didn't fully understand.
Speaker 1I probably still don't fully understand in a way, but they are levels of consciousness and self realization, and so they're color coded by the different levels.
Speaker 1And then, you know, there's all these different images, and so I've always been a very visual person, so for me just made sense to be able to mirror your psyche and internal world with images.
Speaker 1And so when I do these sessions, you know I'm tapping into years and years of having been exposed to this material and this process, and so I very much believe it and I've seen what it does for people. I've seen it do amazing things where people created connections to the images that I couldn't quite see, and then I've also had moments where I can see things that the other person needs help connecting, and so I've always been kind of like a dot connector. You know I'm not fully psychic where, like, I'm going to just know what the future holds for you. So in these sessions I usually ask for some information about what you want to get clipped Clarity on or what you want to focus on, and once I know what the thing is and I mean that session and we start to lay out the cards I can very quickly connect the dots and understand the deeper meaning and what the big lesson takeaway is and help other people see that for themselves. So you know it's a hard thing to explain verbally.
Speaker 1Again, I know what you mean, yeah, you know it's so visual, but yeah, I, you know, I just try to tap into an inner awareness and when I do these sessions, I always just feel so good afterwards Like it's such a clean transaction of me helping somebody, like there's nothing about it, where I feel like, oh, was it enough? Or like you know, even in design do I need to do another round, or does the song need to be revised one more time? Or, you know, it's just like it is what it is in the moment and it's what the other person is ready to accept and it's what I can tap into and help connect for them. And it just feels like such an amazing gift. And the session we had was totally profound because it was the first time I was able to marry together my, you know, kind of intuitive abilities to connect those dots with the visuals and the themes in somebody's life with my background in being a highly visual person who has built brands.
Speaker 1So when you are developing a course curriculum or a new business for yourself or want to understand, like what you can share that is true to your own story, this tool is amazing for that, as we, as we saw, like we basically were able to map out your inner world and what has happened to you and then break it down into like modules or a course curriculum that reflected all of that out into the world. And I love that. I love that I was able to kind of pull from these different skill sets that I've been honing over the years and be able to give it to you in a way that was like something you could walk away with. That gave you some clarity and inspiration, you know.
Speaker 2Yeah, because it was even like it was profound in the moment and the week or so after, because I started to recognize, like this reflection of my journey it's my clients are in the same place as I was at the start and here it is unfolding, it's the same thing, and a month later I'm driving to work and get this download of. This is the course, this is the workshop, and so now it will be in January. Like I'm running the beta group right now. It's modified though, so it's not quite the same, but in January it is. It's those six cards laid out the six weeks of work that we I plan to do to help people move forward in their lives and hone in on what they need to hone in on.
Speaker 2So it's so exciting that all that came from one session, though I just I say, like is it enough? I always feel that way too. Like wow, we just had such a great session when I finished my sessions, but I do think that we think we need to do more. Sometimes I do anyway, like did I do enough, especially if a client's having a particularly hard time. Like I hope they took enough out of this that they feel good. Yeah, but it's the reminder that it is enough just just being there and sharing whatever it is in that moment, even if it's just holding space so that they can get out what they need to get out. That's enough.
Speaker 1And they have to be willing to like, accept it and do the work too. And that's not up to you. You know very much as their point. You could do more than enough. But if the person isn't ready to accept the help or be open or surrender or whatever the thing is, then it's not yours to worry about. Really, you know that's very true, very true.
Speaker 2So, before we end, I would love to hear I always ask what is your, what would be your big piece of golden advice that you would share with somebody, no matter what they're into Like? And maybe what you hope people take away too from just hearing this whole episode.
Speaker 1You know, I think the big takeaway is that you are enough. You were born enough and we're all here on this earth to share our truest, most authentic self, and that is our life's work. It is our greatest work of art in this life to figure out how to love ourselves enough to share who we are authentically and when we can show up like that. That is the greatest gift that we can give to the world, just knowing that that's your work to do here and to not shy away from it and know that it's safe. It's safe place to show up as you and you'll find your people. And we need you. We need you to show up like that?
Speaker 2No, we do. We need you and you will find your people. I love that you can do that.
Speaker 1People get like they don't. They can be going through change but their outer world hasn't changed with them, or family members don't understand them, or you know like they're going through a major transformation and really understanding who they are, but their outer world may not align to that, and I think that's a really scary place to be, because you're asking the people in your life who have maybe understood you to be a different way, to now accept the real you that was underneath it, and it might be really messy, and that you're going to feel vulnerable and you know I hope that those people do, but sometimes they're not ready to and so you do need to find your tribe and you need to find your people and you need to know that you'll never be too much. You know like if people say she's too much, they're not your people, like just be you. It's always enough and it's not too much.
Speaker 2I'm so glad you just added that, because that is a huge piece to it. When you're on this journey is really feeling like you're not. Sometimes you might not feel accepted so much in the environments that you're in and to have to then go find your new tribe can feel lonely sometimes it can feel lonely. So I'm glad you just added that piece in. Well, thank you so much for making time. My pleasure, my pleasure. You're amazing. You're amazing. I'm so glad you're able to do this. That was perfect. Yay, thank you. All right, I hope you really enjoyed that.
Speaker 2I loved listening back when I was editing and I typically take notes to do the takeaways and I totally forgot if I can just be super transparent with you, so I don't have them listed out, but I will say this one of my biggest takeaways for my conversation with Megan was around the perfection piece and making sure that it's not hindering you. It's not keeping you from doing the work that you're called to do or creating the art that you're called to create, because it is very easy to want everything to be just right and in that process we don't take the first step. And you gotta take the first step. You gotta be willing to write 20 songs, you've gotta be willing to take a hundred pictures. It's how you will get the good ones. It's how you will get the one that is just right. So, as she shared this, it reminded me I'm in this new phase with my business. If I'm being so honest, which I always hope to, I'm starting this online workshop and I wanted to do the beta group because I knew I needed a test run, but I also know that it's gonna take me running multiple workshops before I get to that level that I really would like to be at. And so here we are we're starting. We're starting somewhere, and you don't have to be great to start, but you have to start if you ever wanna be great.
Speaker 2And the other thing is it's you, babe, it's you. You get to love you. You get to look in the mirror and see that reflection, looking back, and are you making yourself happy? Are you making choices that are in alignment with your authentic self? Are you creating? Are you being, are you doing all the things that light you up? And sometimes our families need us and they pull us out of our little flow that we're in. But are you finding your way back? We have to be able to blend the two, and I have to say I totally understand that. You know, I have three kids, a husband, three dogs and a cat. I run a business, and although I do my purpose work for sure in my business, there's a lot of aspects of that that don't allow for creativity. You know, the bookkeeping, the invoicing, the things like that, and so things on the 3D pull us out of our flow, but we have to make time to allow ourselves to get back into that so the faucet can turn back on and the flow can come.
Speaker 2All right, I feel like this was a beautiful episode. I would love to hear your takeaways, though, so please feel free to tag me on Instagram. My handle is at lionheartcoachingco, and I'm sure Megan would love a tag too. So if you listened and found value, please feel free to give her a shout out. She is at Megan Sky, and I will link all of that in the show notes. And do yourself a favor after you are done listening to this episode, which is in about 30 seconds Go search Megan Sky. I'll be the one. That song just is such a mood lifter, and I love it. It's my favorite one. She has several good songs on Spotify right now, and maybe even Apple Music. I just know Spotify for sure. So go check it out, go follow her wherever you can follow her and thank you for listening. Thank you for being here and please remember, as always, you are loved, you are valued and you are appreciated. Bye now.
